FEMIJET E BRAKTISUR
SHUMË NËNA E BABALLARË TËRË JETËN DO TË JETOJNË ME
NDËRGJEGJJE TË PAPASTËR SE DIKUR DHE DIKU E KANË BRAKTISUR
NJË FËMIJË.
Shpeshherë jeta di të tregohet mizore, madje edhe së tepërmi në disa raste.
Kështu ndodh të jetë rrjedha e jetës së një fëmije të braktisur. E zymtë, e
mundimshme, e pashpresë …
Jo rrallë herë ata janë nën shënjestrën e përbuzjes, shfrytëzimeve çnjerëzore,
trafikimeve dhe çdo lloj dhune që përcjell fatin e këtyre fëmijëve, sepse të jesh nje fëmijë i braktisur kupton shumë më shumë, vetë fjala braktisje na jep të kuptojmë se kemi të bëjmë me diçka që nuk e dëshirojmë…..e si mund të mos dëshirohet një dhuratë kaq e çmueshme që Allahu xh.sh ia dha njeriut, ia dha femrës respektin më
të lartë nga gjithë krijesat e tjera, duke e graduar me titullin NËNË, ia besoi asaj
rritjen e atij fëmije dhe edukimin e tij, ndërsa ajo e shtyrë apo jo nga rrethana të
caktuara merr guximin ta braktisë që në lindje. Atëherë:
I kujt është faji….!?
“Sigurisht jo i fëmijëve, sepse ata janë të vetmit që mund të
përjashtohen nga ky gjykim.”
Faji është i asaj “nëne” -e cila në andrallat e saj diti si të mos mbante
përgjegjësi, të arratisej nga ndjenja e të falurit të dashurisë, të kërkonte për lumturinë e saj në rrjedhën e ditëve të vrazhda që do të pasonin më tej. Po po, i asaj që diti t’i shkonte kuriozitetit deri në fund e t’i falej epsheve të ndezura pa menduar për pasojat.
Faji është i atij “babai”- i cili zgjodhi braktisjen si rrugë shpëtimi,
atëherë kur frikësohej se krenaria do t’i përulej, atëherë kur figura e të bërit baba
do të përulej në rrethin e bashkëmoshatarëve të tij. Kur hipokrizia e pengoi të
reflektonte se të njëjtin gabim fatal mund ta bënte edhe i ati i tij vite më parë, por ja
që nuk ndodhi ashtu.
Faji është i shkollave- arsimimit, vendit ku mund të flasësh dhe duhet të
marrësh informacione mbi riprodhimin, mirëpo ndodhë e kundërta, sepse
diskutimet për sëmundjet seksualisht të transmetuara dhe për përgjegjësitë
personale kalohen si ''kapituj përsëritjeje'' e nuk guxon kush t’i testojë teorikisht.
Vendi i dijes, ku nuk të jepet mjaftueshëm dije për jetën dhe përgjegjësitë ndaj sajjashtë mureve të klasës.
Faji është i familjes-konsideruar si bërthama e shoqërisë, aty ku ende nën
petkun e ideve komuniste lidhjet paramartesore nuk diskutohen aspak apo thënë
më mirë nuk diskutohen si gjëra, të cilat nuk lejohen. Ende në familjet tona edhe
diskutimet e ndalesave që na porosit Islami i marrim me përçmim dhe përbuzje.
Shikohen akoma si çështje tabu diskutimet prind-fëmijë për sa i përket problemeve
familjare, rrallë ndodh të jepen këshilla rreth edukimit islam se çka lejohet e çka jo.
Pra, mungon edukata themelore, atje ku duhet të ishte e pranishme si qelizë bazë. E
në rastet e gabimeve të fëmijëve shfaqet dukshëm ''prishja e nderit'' familjar e për
pasojë ata (garuesit) nën petkun e hipokrizisë braktisin ndjenjat, ëndrrat, dashuritë
më të mëdha të jetës dhe futen udhëkryqeve të jetës edhe më keq.
Faji është i Shoqërisë – të gjithë ne japim kontributin në gjykimin dhe në
paragjykimin e jetës së dikujt tjetër, pa të drejtë. Po ashtu, askush nga ne nuk kujtohet me ndërgjegjen e një qytetari të thjeshtë të kontribuojë sadopak në mënjanimin, qëndrimin indiferent të këtyre fenomeneve. Përse të mos jemi
mirëkuptues ndaj problemit të tjetrit, përse duhet ta mbështjellim çdo gjë nën hijen
e klisheve të ngritura errësisht në mentalitetin tonë?
Faji është i Shtetit -që nuk mund të mbrojë e të sigurojë shtetasit e vet.
Që nuk forcon legjislacionin për të evituar braktisjet e foshnjave, krijimin e
ambienteve për të rehabilituar nënat nën traumat e braktisjes, shpërndarjen e
politikave civilizuese, atje ku nuk shkon gazeta e përditshme apo valët e TV-ve. Por,
t’i kthehemi kësaj çështjeje nga këndvështrimi Islam, le të ndalemi pikërisht tek
karakteristikat e spikatura të Profetit të Bekuar ku ndaj të rinjve në praktikat e tij
të përditshme, siç dëshmojnë shumë shokë të tij shohim qartë dashurinë dhe
përkujdesjen, e sidomos ndaj fëmijëve. Profeti i Bekuar i donte fëmijët, ai e kishte
zakon të luante me nipat e tij, Hasanin dhe Huseinin, e madje u lejonte atyre t′i
ngjiteshin mbi shpinë. Ai tregonte gjithmonë respekt për bijën e tij Fatimenë, deri
në atë shkallë sa ngrihej në këmbë para saj dhe e përshëndeste, sa herë që ajo i dilte
përpara.
Sipas një thënieje të mirënjohur, të pohuar pikërisht nga Ajshja: ″Nuk
kam parë asnjë njëri, t′i ngjajë më shumë në sjellje, udhërrëfim dhe edukatë, Profetit
të Shenjtë sa i ka përngjarë Fatimja. Sa herë që ajo i vinte, ai ngrihej në këmbë për të
dhe e merrte për dore, e puthte dhe e vendoste të ulej në vendin e tij. ″ Ai gjithashtu i
puthte shpesh fëmijët dhe nipat e tij dhe i urdhëronte muslimanët të bënin njëlloj.
Ai i urdhëronte ata që jo vetëm t′i respektonin pasardhësit e tyre, por t′i trajtonin
me butësi të madhe, përfshi përkëdheljen e përqafimin. Ai e theksoi se fëmijët ishin
dhuratat e Zotit për prindërit dhe rritja e përkujdesja e tyre ishte detyrë fetare dhe
përgjegjësi e detyrueshme për ta. Ai, në të vërtetë, i quajti fëmijët ″lulet e Zotit″.
(Pejgamberi dhe rinia).
Pra, ne përmes traditës së Profetit të Bekuar shohim vlerën që ka një fëmijë, gjejmë
respektin Hyjnor që ai iu bën krijesave siç janë fëmijët, me këtë ne marrim një
porosi të qartë edhe nga ajete të Kuranit famëlartë:
“Pasuria dhe fëmijët janë stoli e jetës së kësaj bote, kurse veprat e mira (fryti i të cilave
është i përjetshëm) janë shpërblimi më i mirë te Zoti yt dhe janë shpresa më e mirë.”
(Sureja Kehf ajeti 46
Krejt në fund kuptojmë që ne, shpeshherë nuk jemi në gjendje të shohim
qartë dukuritë të cilat ndodhin brenda për brenda shoqërisë sonë dhe bëhemi
moskokëçarës apo thënë më mirë, symbyllur para diçkahit, me të cilën shoqëria do
të duhej të merrej seriozisht që sadopak të vetëdijesohen për pasojat negative që
sjell mospërkrahja ndaj kategorisë më të ndjeshme dhe më të çmuar të shoqërisë,
pra femrën mos të lejojmë që t’i përdhosin vlerat e vërteta të njeriut, mos të lejojmë
që në mesin tonë të rriten fëmijë, duke ditur se diku kanë një nënë dhe një baba, të
cilët nga padituria ranë viktima të braktisjes.
N. B.Muhameti
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