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Martesa , Dashuri dhe Përgjegjësi

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Martesa dhe themelimi i jetës së përbashkët bashkëshortore është dëshirë natyrore e qenies njerëzore që u përgjigjet instikteve të tyre. Kjo konsiderohet njëra ndër begatitë më ekselente të All-llahut.

Në të vërtetë, ku do të mund të gjente njeriu strehim më të mirë për të rinjtë, përvëeç se në bashkësinë e sinqert familjare? Kjo është dëshirë për ngritjen e familjes e cila i mbron të rinjtë nga ëndërrimet e parealizueshme dhe nga shqetësimet e brendshme. Bashkësia bashkëshortore u mundëson të gjejnë partner të mirë e besnik i cili do të gjendej aty në momentet e rënda të fatkeqësisë.

Bashkësia e shenjt bashkëshortore është një litar hyjnor që bashkon zemrat, i qetëson ato kur janët ë shqetësuara dhe ëndërrat e parealizuara i rregullon sipas qëllimit ideal.Shtëpia është qendër dashurie, kujdesi dhe miqësie, prandaj ajo është vendi më i pershtatshëm për pushim e jetë komode. All-llahu i Gjithëfuqishëm, këto begati, i përmend në Kur’anin Famëlartë:

“Edhe një argument tjetër i Tij është se Ai, nga lloji i juaj, krijon bashkëshorte që të gjeni prehje pranë tyre, dhe ndërmjet jush mbjell dashuri dhe mëshirë. Ky, me të vërtetë është argument për njerëzit që mendojnë” (30:21).

Pejgamberi i Islamit s.a.v.a. ka thënë: “Burri që nuk është i martuar, po edhe sikur të jetë i pasur, vërtetë është i ngratë dhe i varfër, ndërsa e nëejta vlen edhe për gruan”. Hazreti Sadiku a.s. e ka pyetur një njeri: “A je i martuar? ”Njeriu u përgjigj: ”Jo”, Imami ka thënë: ”Nuk kisha patur dëshirë të jem i pamartuar bile as për një natë, sikur të ma ofronin edhe gjithë botën”. I dërguari i All-llahut s.a.v.a. ka thënë: “As një rregull në Islam nuk është krijuar më i dashur e më i këndshëm te Allahu se sa martesa”.

Edhe pse Allahu i Mëshirshëm iu dhuroi qenieve njerëzore kësisoj dhunti të çmueshme, ata nuk i çmojnë ato, pastaj disa herë, nga mosdija dhe egoizmi, këtë bashkësi të ngrohtë e të butë e shndërrojnë në një burg të errët ose bile, në Xhehennem të këndellur. Mosdija e njeriut është shkak që anëtarët e familjes patjetër të jetojnë në këtë burg të errët dhe që bashkësia e shenjtë bashkëshortore të rrënohet.

Sikur partnerët bashkëshortorë të jenë të vetëdijshëm për detyrat e veta dhe sikur të sillen në përputhshmëri me ato, atëherë shtëpia do të ishte vend miqësie dhe do të na përkujtonte Xhennetin. Por, nëse ekzistojnë mosmarrëveshje e zënka familjare, vatra familjare, me siguri, mund të shndërrohet në burg.

Mosmarrëveshjet familjare i shkaktojnë shumë shkaqe, siç janë: faktorët ekonomikë, prejardhja familjare e mashkullit dhe femrës, rrethanat jetësore, ndikimi i padëshirueshëm i baballarëve, nënave dhe të afërmëve, madje edhe të dhjetëra faktorëve tjerë. Por, sipas mendimit të autorit, faktori më i rëndësishëm është mosnjohja bile edhe injorimi i obligimeve nga ana e burrit ose gruas dhe mosgatishmëria e tyre për jetë bashkëshortore.

Për t’i kryer mirë detyrat bashkëshortore, shkathtësia dhe përgatitja janë kushte të domosdoshme. Nëse njeriut i mungon njohuri dhe përgatitje e mjaftueshme, atëherë ai nuk do të mund me sukses ta arrijë qëllimin e dëshiruar. Që të vendosin njerëzit për punë të ndryshme, organizohen dhe ushtrohen. Qëllimi i martesës

Martesa është nevojë natyrore e gjithë qenies njerëzore. Ajo ka shumë anë pozitive nga të cilat më të rëndësishme janë:

1. Krijimi i familjes në të cilën njeriu mund të gjejë siguri dhe qetësi shpirtërore. Personi që nuk është i martuar është sikur shpendi pa fole. Martesa shërben si strehim për çdo kënd që ndjehet i humbur në shkretëtirën e jetës, andaj njeriu patjetër duhet të gjejë partnerin e jetës me të cilin do ta ndante gëzimin e dëshpërimin.

2. Instinkti natyror seksual është i fortë dhe i rëndësishëm. Secili duhet të ketë partner për të kënaqur nevojat e veta seksuale në një ambient të qetë e të sigurt. Secili duhet të përjetojë satisfakcionin seksual në mënyrë korrekte e të drejtë. Ata që abstenojnë nga martesa, zakonisht, vuajnë nga dhembjet fizike e psikike. Dhembjet e këtilla dhe problemet e caktuara sociale kanë pasoja të drejtpërdrejta të abstenimit të të rinjve nga martesa.

3. Reproduktimi: Përmes martesës zgjatë jetën gjinia njerëzore. Fëmijët janë fryt i martesës dhe faktor i rëndësishëm në përforcimin e themeleve familjare si dhe janë burim i vërtetë i gëzimit të prindërve të tyre Në Kur’anin Famëlartë dhe në hadithe theks i veçantë i është vënë martesës dhe posedimit të fëmijëve. All-llahu i Plotfuqishëm thotë në Kur’an:

“Edhe një argument tjetër i Tij është se Ai, nga lloji juaj, krijon bashkëshorte…” (30:21). Pejgamberi s.a..a. ka thënë: “Nuk ka ndërlidhje më të mirë të bazuar në Islam se sa është martesa”

Imam Aliu r.a. ka thënë: “Martohuni sepse kjo është traditë e Pejgamberit s.a.a..” I Dërguari i Allahut ka thënë: ”Kushdo që zgjedh të ndjekë rrugën time, le të vejë kurorë që, me martesë, të lejë pasardhës (të rrit numrin e muslimanëve) që në Ditën e Gjykimit do të mund të mburrem para umeteve (popujve) tjerë me numrin e madh të Umetit tim“.

Imam Ali Rida a.s. thotë: ”Fitim më i madh për njeriun është gruaja besnike e cila kur e shikon burrin bëhet e lumtur dhe e cila, në mosprezencëne tij, e mbronë pasurinë e tij dhe nderin e vet.” Gjer më tani, në këtë kapitull, kemi folur mbi aspektin e kësaj bote dhe të ndjenjave për martesë, gjë që i posedojnë edhe gjallesat e tjera: dobitë nga jeta e përbashkët dhe reprodukcioni. Qëllimi parësor i martesës, për njerëzit është ndryshe. Njeriu nuk zë vend në këtë planet vetëm që të hajë, të pijë, të flejë, të kërkojë kënaqësi apo të lakmojë (pas kësaj bote) e pastaj të vdes e të zhduket.

Pozita e njeriu është më e lartë se këto veprime. Qeniet njerëzore janë të krijuara të përsosin veten dhe shpirtin e vet duke nxënë dituri, duke kryer vepra të mira dhe duke u sjellë njerëzisht. Nga njeriu kërkohet të ndjekë rrugën e drejtë me qëllimi të afrimit te Allahu i Plotfuqishëm. Njeriu është një qenie e aftë që mund ta pastrojë shpirtin e vet, madje, duke u larguar nga veprat e këqija dhe duke ushtruar një sjellje të mirë, arrin ashtu një pozitë të lartë të cilën as melekët nuk do të mund ta arrinin. Njeriu është një krijesë që është e përhershme. Ai arriti në këtë botë që përmes udhëzimit të pejgamberëve dhe aplikimit të dispozitave, të cilat ia ka caktuar feja (Islami) të sigurojë fatin, lumturinë e vet në këtë dhe në botën tjetër në mënyrë që të jetojë një jetë të qetë në botën e amshueshme.

Prandaj, qëllimi i martesës duhet kërkuar në këtë kontekst shpirtëror. Qëllimi i martesës, për besimtarin, duhet të jetë largim nga veprat e liga dhe pastrim i shpirtit nga gjynahet. Ajo patjetër duhet të jetë mjet afrimi te Allahu i Gjithëfuqishëm. Në këtë kuptim, partneri i përshtatshëm dhe i mirë zë vend të rëndësishëm. Kur dy besimtarë, përmes martesës, krijojnë familje, marrëdhënia e tyre seksuale do t’u ndihmojë në forcimin e marrëdhënieve të dashurisë dhe respektit të ndërsjellë, sepse një çift i tillë nuk do të jetë i rrezikuar nga asnjë degjenerim seksual, defekt i rrezikshëm dhe vepër e jo zakonshme. Pejgamberi i Islamit s.a.a. dhe të gjithë imamët a.s. theks të veçantë i kanë kushtuar institucionit të martesës.

Pejgamberi s.a.a ka thënë: ”Kush martohet e ka ruajtur gjysmën e fesë së vet”. Imam Sadiku a.s. ka thënë: “Dy rekate namaz që i falë personi në kurorë janë më të vlefshëm se shtatëdhjetë rekate që i falë i pamartuari”.

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