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Mendjemadhësia apo krenaria?

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Hyrje

  • Për çdo vepër që e shohim si të gabuar, në vend se të thonë se babai nuk e pëlqen këtë, duhet t’u thuhet se Zoti nuk e pëlqen këtë.

Mendjemadhësia dhe mburrja është e pranishme te çdo individ më shumë apo më pak. Çdo person ka dëshirë të paraqesë veten duke treguar ndonjë aftësi apo diçka tjetër. Ai mundohet të tërheq vëmendjen e të tjerëve përreth tij përmes këtyre veprimeve. Këto qëllime te fëmija fillojnë të manifestohen vetvetiu në moshën një vjeçare. Fëmija dëshiron të lëvizë rreth e rrotull dhe të tërheq vëmendjen e të tjerëve përmes sjelljeve të tija të çuditshme. Ai do t’i përsërisë veprimet me të cilat do të gëzohen dhe do të qeshin prindërit dhe të tjerët. Do të ndjejë kënaqësi në reaksionet e prindërve dhe do të ndjejë një mburrje të lehtë që ka arritur t’i gëzoj të ata. Ndonjëherë, fëmija e shpreh kënaqësinë e tij përmes gjesteve të ndryshme dhe në këtë mënyrë dëshiron të tregojë rëndësinë e saj.

Mburrja nuk është veçori negative

Mburrja vetvetiu nuk është një veçori negative. Në fakt, kjo ndjenjë e ngacmon një individ që të përpiqet për të arritur grada më të mëdha me një shpirt konkurrues Fëmija mundohet shumë të arrijë gradën e lartë në klasën e vet. Ai mundohet të zhvillojë aftësitë oratorike apo të bëhet piktor i shkathët. Është kjo dëshirë konkurruese te fëmija që e dëshmon paralajmërimin e poetëve, artistëve, autorëve dhe shkencëtarëve të mëdhenj të së ardhmes. Prezenca e kësaj veçorie të mburrjes te fëmija nuk është për t’u brengosur. Me rëndësi është se duhet të shfrytëzohet pozitivisht për leverdinë e fëmijës. Nëse udhëzohet në drejtimin e duhur, mund të vijmë deri te rezultatet e dobishme.

Në fazën fillestare fëmija nuk mund të dallojë ndërmjet të mirës e së keqes. Ai i vëzhgon reaksionet e prindërve në mënyrë që të arrijë deri në një përfundim. Mentori i kujdesshëm do të inkurajojë veprimet e pëlqyera të fëmijës duke i shprehur gëzim për to. Prindi mund të inkurajojë sjelljet e mira te fëmija duke e shprehur pakënaqësinë e tij për veprimet e papëlqyeshme. Disa prindër të pakujdesshëm, përveç dashurisë së tyre për fëmijën, e mbulojnë fëmijën me lajka dhe lëvdata të tepërta pa menduar se a është i pëlqyer apo jo veprimi i fëmijës. Në këtë mënyrë ata ia vendosin themelin e sjelljeve të këqija te fëmija në mënyrë të paqëllimtë. Në lajkat e tyre ndaj fëmijës, ata i zmadhojnë kualitete e mira dhe e lëvdojnë së tepërmi. Ka shumë gjasa që fëmija i tillë të bëhet mendjemadh dhe dalëngadalë të bëhet egoist dhe arrogant. Ai do të fillojë të presë lajkat e të tjerëve sikur nga prindërit.

Kur fillon shqetësimi i fëmijës?

Kur fëmija dështon në marrjen e përgjegjës së dëshiruar, ai bëhet i shqetësuar. Ai fillon ta shprehë mllefin e tij kundrejt të tjerëve dhe në rastin më të keq mund të mendojë për t’u shkaktuar ndonjë dëm atyre në fazat e mëvonshme. Prindërit duhet të kenë ndërmend se ata duhet të kujdesen për të menduarit e fëmijëve, në mënyrë që t’i udhëzojnë në rrugën e të sinqertëve. Pastaj, do të vijë faza kur fëmijët do ta rindërtojnë mendjen e tyre kundrejt Zotit. Tani e tutje, për çdo vepër që e shohin të gabuar, në vend se të thonë se babai nuk e pëlqen këtë, duhet t’u thuhet se Zoti nuk e pëlqen këtë.

(Redaksia e revistës “Vlera”, nr. 12, tetor 2014, fq. 38)




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