SI T’I KAPËRCENI MENDIMET NEGATIVE?
Psikiatri Dr. Daniel Amen i është kushtuar analizimit të procesit, gjatë të cilit mendimet ndikojnë në pamjen, energjinë dhe gjendjen tonë të përgjithshme shëndetësore. Në librin e tij “Ndryshoni mendjen tuaj, ndryshoni trupin tuaj”, dr. Amen identifikon mendimet automatike negative të cilat i përshkruan si “zërat e vegjël që gjenden në kokën tuaj dhe ju thonë që nuk jeni të mirë sa duhet”. Fatmirësisht, në ta mund të ndikohet:
1. Krejt ose asgjë – kjo përfshin të menduarit bardh e zi, i cili ju bën të besoni se si gjithçka është ose absolutisht mirë ose absolutisht keq. Kuptoni se si një dështim nuk do të thotë që duheni të hiqni dorë. Çdokujt mund t’i ndodhë ndonjë gabim, por fatmirësisht shumë gjëra në jetë nuk varen nga një vendim i gabuar.
2. Përdorimi i negacioneve dhe i përgjithësimeve – nëse mendoni ose thoni fjali si “kurrë nuk do të heq ndonjë kilogram të tepërt”, viheni në pozitën ku nuk keni kontroll ndaj veprave tuaja. Kurrë mos thoni kurrë – ndaloj ani vetes përdorimin e përgjithësimeve.
3. Fokusimi në gjërat negative – nëse shpesh e lodhni veten me mundësitë negative, në vend se të mendoni për pozitivet, shumë më parë do të hiqni dorë se sa të vazhdoni. Përpiquni që në gjithçka të gjeni anën pozitive, dhe në këtë mënyrë të ngrini disponimin.
4. Të menduarit me ndjenja – kur supozoni që keni të drejtë në lidhje me diçka, mos e vëni në dyshim vazhdimisht. Përpiquni të mendoni me logjikë në vend të ndjenjave. Kërkoni dëshmi që do ta mbështesin qëndrimin tuaj.
5. Faji – përdorimi i fjalëve si “nevojitet” ose “duhet” manifeston ndjenjën e fajit dhe i lejon të kontrollojë sjelljen tuaj. Largojeni ndjenjën e fajit, bëni çka duhet por jo me çmimin e shëndetit tuaj ose arsyes së shëndoshë.
6. Etiketimi – nëse ia qepni vetes etiketën (si për shembull “unë jam humbës”), ia merrni vetes kontrollin ndaj asaj që bëni, ndërsa edhe do të filloni t’u besoni këtyre mendimeve negative. Ky qëndrim do të thotë që keni tendencë për të hequr dorë lehtë.
7. “Parashikimi” i së ardhmes – parashikimi i më të keqes edhe nëse nuk e dini se çka do të ndodhë saktë. Këto mendime janë shumë të shpeshta dhe mund t’ju rrëmbejnë shumë shpejt. Problemi me këto mendime është që ndikojnë fuqishëm në mendje dhe mund të duket që gjërat janë me të vërtetë ashtu. Nëse lejoni që t’ju dominojë stresi, kjo mund të ndikojë negativisht në sistemin e imunitetit, dhe të rritë shanset për t’u sëmurë. Stresi kronik lidhet me shumë sëmundje.
8. Leximi i mendjes – kur konsideroni që e dini se çka mendojnë njerëzit tjerë për ju. E vërteta është që në fakt nuk keni lidhje se çfarë mendojnë njerëzit. Nëse ju shikon dikush, kjo domosdo nuk do të thotë që edhe ju gjykon.
9. Fajësimi i të tjerëve – është joproduktive të fajësoni të tjerët dhe të ikni nga përgjegjësia për dështimet ose sukseset tuaja. Kur filloni fjalinë me “ky është faji yt”, mënyra e tillë e të menduarit mund t’ua shkatërrojë jetën. Mendimet negative ju bëjnë viktimë, por fakti është që në shumicën e rasteve pikërisht ju jeni ata që korrni atë që mbillni në jetë.
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